I love my cats. They are weird and wacky and just do odd stuff. Zen, the older female, loves on socks. She drags my socks around and merrs and mews over them. It's like my dirty, balled up socks are her little babies.
Modeam, the orange male, is freaking horny. I don't know why? He's fixed. It's not like he's ever had any action. But lately he's humping a rubber bone.
Go figure.
Does your milkshake bring all the boys to the yard? Cause I think mine may be broken. Just kidding. I have that stupid song in my head from the commerical for "Date Movie". It's by the same guys who did "Scary Movie" and has Willow in it.
Traffic leaving Chicago last night was bad. It was that bad stop and go and stop and wait and hurry go. I hate that kind. Give me the moving at 15-25 mph any day over the stop and go. So I'm chatting and tell Jim that I was sorry for snapping at him over the whole pasta strainer incedent; but I wouldn't have had to snap if he had done it right in the first place. Well, he disagreed with me. He believes that he was doing it the "correct" way. Or as I like to call it, the "Assinine" way. Of course I start aruging with him again over it.
The pasta pot goes: big pot-strainer-water-bring water to a boil-add salt-add pasta-cook pasta-pull strainer out of water and serve.
It's not big pot-water-bring water to a boil-put in strainer filled with pasta-forcing it down so boiling water erupts thru the little holes-splashes groin with boiling water-never have kids.
He tells me that he's been cooking pasta for much longer than I have and there fore know how to cook pasta. Or he comes up with, pouring pasta into the water splashes and putting it in the strainer and lowering doesn't splash. Amazing! What have we been doing for the last 100 years other than pouring dry pasta into water?
Ok, how does that make sense? You have to pour the pasta into the boiling water or else, how do you get the pasta into the water? Drop the rotini in one by one?
Basically, I know I'm right and he's wrong. Jim thinks that he's right, but deep inside has to know that he's wrong and just won't admit it now.
After dinner, we're just hanging out. Jim falls asleep infront of the tv. I'm going over some new recipes in Cooks Illustrated-hooo how to cook a leg of lamb. It sounds so good and easy! I want to make leg of lamb. I get up to go and get myself some tea and like the early exploriers of yore, I discover Lake Kitchen and Basement Waterfall.
Jim and I are just looking at this puddle and thinking, For the Love of Monkeys, the 10 year old dishwasher can not go right now. We are not buying a freaking dishwasher. (this is in my head because I would NEVER say it out loud) Jim just go and buy me a damn dishrack and I'll wash the stinking dishes by hand.
After inspecting the dishwasher, me blaming Jim for not rinsing and, oh and, over loading the damn thing. We discover that a small portion of the rubber seal is missing. Jim and I just have to get a new rubber seal and we should be all good. Well I still have to find the damn food trap and clean that out. Ew.
Afterwards, we're all cleaned up and getting ready for bed and there is poor Kora sitting by the bedroom door. She was the most pathetic thing. She knows that I'm reinacting my "No Pets in the Bedroom" rule. Sunday thru Thursday, the bed is ours and ours alone. We sleep much better and are able to cuddle up and get cozy together. Plus, we just sleep so much better.
This is dedicated to my friend Wubba
There is only one piece of furniture that I really want, a fainting couch. I can just imagine myself in a flowing night gown, reading an incredible important novel, while sipping the most exquisite liqueur ever made. There would be vases of flowers every where and everything would be white and fluffy and ever so comfortable. While I’m in my fantasy world, I would also be very skinny and Jim would be a tiger in the sack. And on the fainting couch.
My birthday is coming up and Jim thought he found the perfect fainting couch for me. He took me to go and see it on Sunday.
I’m hanging my head and biting my lip as I type this. It was the most awful piece of furniture that I have ever seen. It was leopard print, overstuffed, with a ruffly back, not at all my sweet, romantic dream couch.
It was very sweet of Jim to try to find my perfect little fainting couch, but oh man, did he ever get it wrong. And leopard print??? Where in the world did that come from? I mean, we’re discussed the décor of upstairs and it’s more asian modern than leopard print.
It’s so hard to be disappointed when I know that he tried to hard to please me.
One is a little old, but I didn't have time to write it down before now.
Jim wanted to have his family over for Christmas day. It was all fine with me, but I told Jim that I had to pack and work the day before and get a ton of stuff together so I wouldn't come home to an utter and complete mess. I only came home to a complete mess.
Jim said ok, that he would handle every thing and you know, I wasn't about to say no. I want Jim and his family to get together as often as possible and not just drop out of each others lives.
So I had to work that Saturday. Thursday and Friday , I put together a grocery list for Jim to pick up on Saturday morning for the party and for every day use.
On that list were the big bottle of Tide, a bottle of clorox for colors, dish washer soap, and a bunch of other big ticket items.
Yea, well he had told me that he got some money for Christmas, and I really needed all those items. They really couldn't wait the two weeks while I was out of the country and didn't do laundry.
Oh look at her, so comfy on the couch. She takes those pillows and piles them up herself. You know, if she just didn't stink like dog, she'd be the perfect child.
AW!
My sister has a cat named Moses. He's evil. It's like he's not a cat, but an evil person wrapped in a tiny cat suit. Actually, it's not so tiny. He's a big freaking cat.
So I'm over at Courtneys on Friday night for a little party and there's this girl who is just transfixed by Moses. Well, he is a handsome devil. He claimed the chair right next to this girl, once he claims a chair he doesn't leave. This poor girl is just, "I want to pet him", and I'm telling her, no he's mean, but I totally know what you mean.
See, I just want to pick Moses up and cuddle him and give him kisses on his kittie head and loves. I want him to be like my Modeam. Who is on my lap, happily purring and keeping me very warm right now. Moses is just so handsome and so big, I want to carry him around like a baby!
Moses doesn't want any part of this and has no problem hissing, growling, biting, and stealing your breakfast to prove a point.
I can't tell the stealing your breakfast story, I'll have to let Courtney do that.
I have theroys of why Mose is, well, crazy.
1. He is the reincarnation of someone very evil, knows that he's the reincarnation of said person, but he's a cat and can't do anything about it.
2. He's the kittie devil made flesh. He's just waiting for the 4 fleas of the end of the world.
3. He's lonely and just needs a buddy.
This is the garage that is costing us $900 in lawyer fees. This crappy little pain in my ass garage. This leaning, smelly, icky garage. This horse barn that was converted into a half assed garage, garage. This garage that is the same size as the garage that is standing now garage but the village wouldn't let us put up garage.
Fucking Garage.
Jim’s hair cut.
Oh it’s bad.
Jim knew it was bad when he got it.
He met me at the door after he got it and I couldn’t hide the fact that it was bad.
And he knew it.
It’s too short on the sides.
Too long in the back.
It’s like the start of a mullet.
At least the tops pretty good.
Poor Jim.
This is a picture of the most evil toilet in the world. One evening, while getting ready for bed, I go to the bathroom-just pee-and that toilet made the most evil noise in the world. It was jarring. I go to Jim and am like, oh my god huney, there’s something wrong with the toilet. Jim tells me that it’s because I must of slammed the toilet seat shut. I tell him that no, I didn’t and he says he’s sure that’s want it is.
Then it happens again and I did not slam the toilet seat down and/or he was there and saw that I didn’t slam the toilet seat down. I look up on craigslist.org and find that it’s an air hammer and tell Jim. He basically tells me that we’re going to have to call a plumber out and that they are going to tell us that our pipes are old, and it’s just going to cost a lot of money for a problem that they can’t fix.
I went thru our home depot repair book and find that it’s just letting some air out of the toilet and show Jim and start looking for a plumber to come and fix it. Jim then went to hardware store and finds the little piece that fixes it. It’s just this little metal part that screws in between the water intake and toilet. Yea it’s fixed! Oh my Hero!!! Oh Please. I told him what it was. I looked up that it was an easy fix. With out my nagging it would have never gotten fixed.
So yea, it’s fixed. Then the damn ring that connects the handle to the chain that pulls up the flapper-where the water goes, gets loose. One morning, I’m getting ready and the ring goes and I have to reach into the tank and fix it and then my damn bracelet falls from that stupid little niche above the toilet and have to reach into the bowl to fish it out. Eh.
Jim decided to fix this ring with a split key ring. Now it doesn’t fall off and just not flush, it sticks. So the water keeps flowing and flowing and flowing.
Oh well, it doesn’t make that God Awful noise any more.
My family went to Israel from 12/26/2005 thru 1/4/2006. It was an awesome trip and I need my sister to email me all her pictures so that I can create a blog of the trip for friends and family
Oh Fiesta, how we have missed you. Jim and I collect Fiestaware
http://www.hlchina.com/fiestaretail.htmSince buying and moving into our home in May, the fiesta has been boxed in the basement. We have more space in the house, but less places to put the fiesta. It went from 3 bookshelves full to one.
We started to unpack and see what we have. Jim even suggested selling off some of the smallers pieces, but of course when he saw everything he couldn't pick out what to go. I'm thinking of getting rid of the Fransiscan Start burst (pictured here right) or some of the frankoma (Left). Those are basically my pieces and even thougth I love the Starburst, it's just not what we use and it's so overpriced we can't afford to buy more so we could use it.
Oh, my, God! You know, I was trying to be good and not make fun of people anymore b/c it is not nice and I wouldn't want people talking behind my back about me and making fun of me. But, crap my inlaws are dumb. This suprised me with my sil, she remembered the story I told her about how Modeam got his name. See I had just watched the movie Dune and he's an orangie cat, so his name was Modeve the Spice Planet. Well it evolved into Modeam the Cat. She comes to me on Christmas and asks me if Modeam is a Sand Cat, cause she and her daughter went to the zoo and saw a Sand Cat and it looked like Modeam. Ok, she gets points for connecting Dune and Sand Cat. But negitive points for thinking that my house cat is actually a wild animal that you would find at the zoo. Then there is the niece. OMG, think racist "wigger". I'm not trying to be racist or anything, but this chick is white, hates black people, yet dresses, talks, and has the style of your urban rapper. Hates the people, loves the style. Go figure. So at Christmas, she tells me that she thought that Jews didn't believe in God. I told her, no we just don't believe in Jesus Christ. She said, well same difference. Then today, she was over again with her mom. She asks me about my trip to Israel and I tell her it was great and that I can't wait to go back and what not. That it was eye opening to see all the soliders and what not. She seemed very confused about that and I had to explain that people want to wipe Jews off the face of the planet. She told me-get ready for this......I don't follow US History. I had to tell her well, it's not US history, Israel isn't in the United States, it's in the Middle East. Then she went to talking about Anna Nicole Smith and how she looks so good now. I walked away.
I just finished the Phyllis Diller biography, Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse, and it was funnnnny. It deserves a couple more ns in funny.
Poor, ugly ass woman really had it tough. Her parents treated her more like an adult than a child, she had two horrific marriages, a daughter that she had to commit because she suffered from schizophrenia, as well as bombing publicly on more than one occasion.
But I started thinking. See she called her inlaws by some clever nicknames and made jokes, not necessarily about them, but about people in general. I think that I can find that quite useful in a number of situations.
Yea, huney. Lets feed the dog bread.
So I'm trying to make challah. This is probably my 3rd or 4th attempt. Not a one of them has been any good.
I've tried the same recipe, the recipe on the box of bread flour, recipes from Jewish cooking sites. Nothing has helped me. I'm thinking that I'm not a baker and really should leave the yummy bread to the professionals.
Kora won.So I'm cleaning up and I find this bowl full of clemintines and a pomegrante. It January 21th, almost a full month after Christmas. This bowl was sitting on top of Athony-our display case- for almost a month. Needless to say, the clemintines created their own kind of liqueor, but the pomegrante seemed fine. Ok, fine to Jim, who I think was planning on eating it. I was staying away from the thing with a ten foot pole. Sorry food that's been left out for a month, I don't eat. Food that's been left out overnight, I don't eat. I've learned my lesson.Anyways, this pomegrante was on our kitchen island and Kora took it down and ate it
Oh Fiesta, how we have missed you. Jim and I collect Fiestaware http://www.hlchina.com/fiestaretail.htm
Yea, huney. Lets feed the dog bread.
